A long-time friend is going through a rough time in her life right now. Changes, decisions and questions have surfaced and are demanding answers. In my attempt to help, I always ended with the question: “What do you want? What do you really, really want? What do you really, really, really, really want?” Somehow saying “really” four times gets down to the heart of the matter.
She was not amused or pleased with the question. Most of us aren’t. We feel the pain and seem to follow that pain into what we don’t want and why we can’t get it. It’s like walking down a dark alley even after we see the dead end sign before we begin. Why is it so hard for us to focus on what we want rather than what we don’t have or have been told we can’t get?
I’ve never built a house before. A real house, from concept to design, from foundation to roof. I find it to be truly exhilarating and freeing. Yet dozens have warned me of what a long and arduous process it is going to be and the toll it will take on me. Before we sat down with the builder and the architect, we prepared a list of general ideas, questions, variations and open-end options.
At the very top of the page was our “What We Want” list. It was not an easy, quick list we jotted down light-heartedly. It was the result of many hours of thinking about and talking about what we do, what we like, what is important to us and how we want to feel when we get into our new home. We reviewed many blueprints…many, many blueprints. We feel in love with one and yet we still have to make adjustments based on our wants and desires and values. My hubby wants his work bench and home theatre. I want my studio and a kitchen that makes me feel yummy every time I go in there to cook. We both want our lake view to be the star and focus of our new home…relaxed, comfortable and warm.
So – life is a lot like building a house.
Must Have: No compromises.
Want: Some concessions may be needed.
Like: If possible
No Way! If it’s not a yes, it’s a hell no! (10 Little Rules for Your Creative Soul)
Start living a yummy life – stand up tall and strong and know what you truly want. Go deep.
That home on the water you dream about is more than a home on the water. Is it the peace and quiet of nature? Is it the ability to ski and tube and party with like-minded people? Is it the privacy and inspiration of the ever-changing view each day? Build your life around that.
The only answer that matters is your answer and that fact that you have uncovered what it is you really, really, really, really want in life.
Artfully inspired, Rita