the truth about Embracement

the truth about Embracement

Time taken on purifying, cleaning, dry brushing, shaving and moisturizing … polishing and doting on ourselves is necessary for the spirit. 

I lovingly take extra time today to be pleasing to the eye, the smell and touch. Painstakingly picking the perfect jeans that hit exactly right on my kick ass new heels … the finishing touch. 

As I sit on the floor and slide the first one on, I notice how pretty my toes look … freshly stone sanded and painted with my favorite color. Then as I wiggle and bend my leg under me in the most unnatural way to buckle those pesky side buckles, I secretly send love and gratitude out for my yoga practice and the ability to torque my leg in such a way without tearing any meniscus. 

As I buckle the first side, I notice the buckle fits best a little tighter than the last time I wore these shoes, evident by the slightly worn hole I was passing up for a tighter fit. 

Multiple flashing thoughts…

“Wow, my ankles are smaller.”

“Maybe they won’t look ‘thick’ anymore.”

( … and here we go … )

I jump on that train … one thought after another … trying to push my way through all these veils enshrouding me, before I suffocate. 

I remember where I was sitting, even the physical sensations of when my father told me I had thick ankles … and in this moment … almost 30 years later … My chest was heavy. My breath quickened. My heart pulsing in my ears. 

Even despite knowing I had beautiful calves … (My dad taught me that as well because they looked just like my mother’s) I never wore dresses to “show them off” because they were attached to my “thick ankles.”.

My past hour of loving self care, doting and pampering myself vanished.

Well, maybe more like vanquished. 

I was so proud to share myself outwardly today. To feel … and be… beautiful. 

“Oh! That’s it. You are too prideful. What gives you the right? Don’t gloat and boast or talk highly of yourself. It makes others uncomfortable. It makes you appear conceited. Your friends won’t like you.”

( … and this is the train … )

We hop on and ride and ride … Long after we KNOW we have missed our stop. 

… and there is the memory now of that junior high friend who always made fun of my “frizzy” hair. 

… and then it goes on and on. 

By the time my date walks in, I am a puddle of tormented memories on the floor … still … yet … with one shoe left to buckle. 

You may have to give me a valium by the time both feet are properly encased! 

Then I notice my hand … the one strapping down that thick ankle. That hand that at 22 years old rested on a table to assist my Kindergarten student with her work … “Ms. Beach” as she lovingly … almost sympathetically … stroked the back of my hand, “your hands look so old.”  

I have thought my hands old ever since … When did we stop teaching children to be kind?

And then my sister, as we grew to young adults, grabs for my hand one day and almost wistfully told me of a fond memory she always had. The memory of me holding her hands … in protection and in love, in a chaotic home. That she always remembered how soft my hands felt to her. 

The thoughts continue to flood in …

… these hands were also strong and supportive for my beautiful child as I held and nurtured her … but they were “old hands.”

This constant tug-of-war with my self-image was so dizzying at times, that I didn’t know up from down. 

Our parents, our peers even our tormenting siblings weave these shrouds over us. Many proclaiming it is for our own good, professing “societal norms” or “acceptable standards.”

The confusion and heart wrenching aches that spawn from those common phrases of “well if everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you as well?”  

We are taught to not let anyone influence our “rational” decision making process. We are told to never succumb to peer pressure … but only as long as it fits our parent’s agenda. 

The ones we love most, always think their molding of our identities is best for us … when in fact it is most usually based on their fears, upbringing, values and standards.  

I was trained and ingrained at an early age by everyone around me that my natural, wily locks were not smooth enough, calm enough, styled or polished enough. I bought rubber bands by the pound and kept my hair pulled up and taut and greased. Inevitably, that stray spring curl popped loose … only to cause more harassment and poking fun at. 

My father used to loving stroke my hair then follow with “your hair is so kind, Fats.”

(I won’t even go into the details of what that nickname did to me). 

“Kind of like a dog’s ass” he would say. 

Can. You. Imagine? Speaking to your child this way. 

So …

I paid high dollar for straightening products and tools. Hours spent fighting my tresses to conform to other’s standards. 

For years …

ever since …

Until my peapod came along. There was no more time for me. Thank god for the unexpected popularity of “messy buns”… this I can do! 

I had an enormous collection of baseball caps as well. Anything I could do as to not make others uncomfortable by my presence or rather my frizzy hair. 

My ex-husband constantly avoided or sniffed with an itchy nose and complained of irritation and tickles and annoyance every time my ringlets grazed him. It was best to always be pulled up in intimate moments so as to not spoil the mood. It prevented adequate visibility to him when operating a motor vehicle and turns needed to be made. 

It was never stroked or caressed or smelled or adored. Not braided or played with or occasionally massaged.  

The only time he ever praised a hair on my head was when I shaved it all off donating my hair to child’s cancer research. He stated we would save so much money on hair products! 

I think that may have been a back handed compliment … maybe?

Then it became … you ARE getting older. Shorter hair is more appropriate for your age.  So I kept it short. I was just turning forty after all. 

Everyone was happy. I wasn’t rocking any boats or itching anyone and I fit perfectly into my suburb house with one kid and a dog AND my age. 

Everyone was happy … Except me. 

Caged. Suppressed. Sinking deeper into murky waters without the will to fight for my inner untamed beast. 

I am wild, thoughts scattered and squirrelly in creative moments. My hair is a reflection of my inner self. Was that what everyone was really trying to suppress? 

An energy …

a light that made them uncomfortable? 

 There are moments of clarity …

As the barber took the razor to my head and shaved off my long tresses, my child sat at my feet and cried. When I looked down at her and asked her why she was so sad, she looked at me so innocently and said that “Mama, you won’t be beautiful without your hair.” And that is when I told her that what makes me beautiful is inside my heart not on the outside. The first time I said those words to myself OR anyone else. 

Such a golden moment … a perfect opportunity to empower my daughter.  So much so that two years later she did the same. 

Full. Of. Awesome! 

How can we offer these shining moments to others but can’t afford them to ourselves. 

Or do we offer them? 

Some continue the perpetual degradation generation after generation.  We pass down our insecurities and conditioning to our children.

Find your truth.

Yell it. 

Scream it! 

Someone will hear you and come to trumpet by your side. 

Find your sisters and dance wildly in the moonlight …

… frizzy hair, chunky ankles and all!!

10 Little Rules for Finding Your Truth

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the truth about Comfort

the truth about Comfort

We know what we need.


Yet sometimes the cyclone around us seems so unbearable, we can’t even gather a simple thought, let alone what we really NEED during hardship.

Comforts tranquilize and calm us. They bring us back to our true nature. The anger, frustration, exhaustion, resentment dissipates slowly when we allow ourselves the refreshing reliefs that cradle our hearts and nurture our spirits.

Years ago I stumbled upon the lavender plant …

In one scientific study of Lavender and the Nervous System, lavender was found to reduce “symptoms such as restlessness, disturbed sleep, and somatic complaints and had a beneficial influence on general well-being and quality of life”.

Ask any dirt loving gardener what they grow and they will almost always sing out that at least one lavender plant grows in their garden. Look closely and watch them …. just the mention of this not only beautiful, but truly fragrant plant, will set the stars to twinkling in their eyes. They will parade you through the throngs of bliss amassed in their well manicured yard only to deliver you next to this amazing garden treat and insist you take in its delights.

Whether it is inhaled through essential oils (therapeutic grade is always best) or placed in a sachet in a hot bath or baked or brewed, there is always an easing sense of life’s turmoils when we take time to incorporate this garden beauty into our lives.

Here is a great recipe for you to try that I often make in my own home that is great at relieving fatigue, depression and even tension headaches …

Boil 7 cups of water

Pour 4 cups of the boiled water over 2 tablespoons of lavender buds in a bowl

(Mountain Rose Herbs is a great resource for organic lavender)

Steep covered with a cheese cloth for 10 minutes

Pour the leftover 3 cups of boiling water into a pitcher

Add ½ cup of agave or local honey

Stir until dissolved

Strain lavender “water” with a cheesecloth into your pitcher

(make sure the kids are watching … it is truly magic for the soul)

Add the juice of 3 lemons (about 8 ounces)

Serve over ice

Enjoy your bliss!


10 Little Rules for Finding Your Truth

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The truth about replenishing … a book reading

The truth about replenishing … a book reading

What fills your cup? What makes you happy … especially now, when “normal” is nowhere in sight?

Micki Beach, author of 10 Little Rules for Finding Your Truth, reminds us that it’s more important than ever to take care of our joy, and refill our own cups. Without that, we are no good to ourselves or anyone else. Enjoy this reading from her book … (and sign up for our newsletter for upcoming book readings from Micki and our other authors)!

For more inspiration on finding your truth, please visit Micki’s book page to purchase your copy. We love our authors, and our readers.

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a teaser about Truth

a teaser about Truth

These days it can be hard to tell the “truth” from the noise, both in our own heads and in the voices all around us.

Micki Beach, author of 10 Little Rules for Finding Your Truth, wants to help. She’ll be giving a book reading soon; watch her teaser below and sign up for our newsletter so you don’t miss the full recording!

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the truth about Honesty

the truth about Honesty

Social media gives every single person their own little soap box. Unfortunately it seems the people who shed light and love into the world are shoved into the background by all the desperate, angry and loud people who just seem to want to attack. Their claims, always backed by what they say is “honesty,” are often distressing and confrontational.

One of my favorite quotes is “Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak.” We often think that those who have the “courage” to step up and “tell it like it is” are right, true and transparent. But these people rarely have anyone’s interests in mind but their own. People during crisis move from a place of fear, anger, guilt and regret and as they stand proudly upon their soapbox, it is often just to shield others from seeing their own truth. Insecurities are the loudest and it takes a true test of courage, confidence and silence to be calm and quiet in this type of storm.

My tenacity to remain centered is tested often because I am in the public eye. There will always be those who find fault in you, your product, your views. They will bait and antagonize. They will lure you out of your peaceful place of security in hopes of proving to others that their own views of you are correct. Sometimes people are running away from their own truths so steadfastly that the only way they can’t feel it nipping at their heels is by attacking something or someone else.

Everyone has a right to practice Rule #10 in 10 Little Rules for Finding Your Truth, “Speak Your Truth.”

Yes, everyone!

But everyone else has the right to walk away and not listen.

The first two weeks of our global COVID-19 crisis, there was so much anger and hatred being sent out into the world. Facebook posts were spewing misinformation and accusing anyone and everyone. People were making fun of others and bitterly chastising those who weren’t handling the crisis exactly how THEY thought it should be handled.

We all move through times of struggle differently. We all replenish in different ways. Take a moment and think about where you are getting your information. Who are you listening to? Does their truth align with yours or are they just speaking it so loud that you can’t hear your own truth anymore?

I am so absolutely proud of my Facebook community through this pandemic. I slowly started seeing less and less of my friends on my Facebook feed. Less posts, less anger, less attacking. People were literally unplugging. Those people on the soapboxes no longer had an audience … and guess what? They stopped … or at least, many of them have.

We started to see how this very helpful and useful tool, so useful initially for keeping us connected while in isolation, was actually damaging our peace of minds.

Everyone was speaking their own variation of their own truths.

Or so they thought!

But sadly the real work that allows us to find that inner voice had not been done. You know those people …

They were jumping on those soapboxes from a place of fear and negativity.

And MANY chose to walk away.

I respect everyone’s truth, as we all should. That doesn’t mean I have to agree with, buy into it or support it … or even listen to it.

I know I can walk away when it does not align with my path.

You can too!

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