the truth about Comfort

the truth about Comfort

We know what we need.


Yet sometimes the cyclone around us seems so unbearable, we can’t even gather a simple thought, let alone what we really NEED during hardship.

Comforts tranquilize and calm us. They bring us back to our true nature. The anger, frustration, exhaustion, resentment dissipates slowly when we allow ourselves the refreshing reliefs that cradle our hearts and nurture our spirits.

Years ago I stumbled upon the lavender plant …

In one scientific study of Lavender and the Nervous System, lavender was found to reduce “symptoms such as restlessness, disturbed sleep, and somatic complaints and had a beneficial influence on general well-being and quality of life”.

Ask any dirt loving gardener what they grow and they will almost always sing out that at least one lavender plant grows in their garden. Look closely and watch them …. just the mention of this not only beautiful, but truly fragrant plant, will set the stars to twinkling in their eyes. They will parade you through the throngs of bliss amassed in their well manicured yard only to deliver you next to this amazing garden treat and insist you take in its delights.

Whether it is inhaled through essential oils (therapeutic grade is always best) or placed in a sachet in a hot bath or baked or brewed, there is always an easing sense of life’s turmoils when we take time to incorporate this garden beauty into our lives.

Here is a great recipe for you to try that I often make in my own home that is great at relieving fatigue, depression and even tension headaches …

Boil 7 cups of water

Pour 4 cups of the boiled water over 2 tablespoons of lavender buds in a bowl

(Mountain Rose Herbs is a great resource for organic lavender)

Steep covered with a cheese cloth for 10 minutes

Pour the leftover 3 cups of boiling water into a pitcher

Add ½ cup of agave or local honey

Stir until dissolved

Strain lavender “water” with a cheesecloth into your pitcher

(make sure the kids are watching … it is truly magic for the soul)

Add the juice of 3 lemons (about 8 ounces)

Serve over ice

Enjoy your bliss!


10 Little Rules for Finding Your Truth

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the truth about Failure

the truth about Failure

You hear that little voice on your shoulder …”just forget it … it’s not worth it … did you see the way they looked at you?” Unfortunately, we must often fail at things in order to succeed. When we fail, at least we are trying and learning and formulating a better way, a smoother path. If we give up or, even worse, never even try for fear of how we will look or seem to others then growth is never possible.

A friend of mine recently shared a post on Facebook that was incredibly truthful and powerful. The title was “Embarrassment is the cost of entry.” Damn if that won’t get your attention!

It goes on to state that “Winston Churchill defines success as the ability of going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.” Have you set out on a new task, a new skill, a new yoga pose that eludes you? Have you become discouraged and given up? Maybe you just need the right tools, a skilled teacher and a room full of understanding, compassionate supporters. The Powerful Mind website states “there are many benefits to experiencing failure, even though you may not think so initially.”

Here are a few…

You learn something. You actually DO something. It boosts your empathy and it makes you humble while also being a great motivator.

Rule #2 from 10 Little Rules to Finding Your Truth is Expand.

“Our tendency in those quiet stolen moments is to reflect. It’s not the heart-mind that speaks first but the one that sits above those heavy, burdened shoulders that has the loudest, most demanding tone.”

We aren’t thinking at the time “oh, I will learn something here or learn humility.” Fear and panic usually strike! I’ve been right there with you …

Take a moment and picture this. …

You are in front of your most respected teacher and she encourages you to do something so outside your box that panic strikes. That is soon followed by shame for not being more courageous. Do you jump in feet first and throw caution to the wind? I did! And you guessed it … I fell flat on my face. I think I actually had to pull carpet out of my front teeth. And yes, she was watching.

But when I looked up, I saw not condemnation or disgust; I saw a huge encouraging smile urging me to try again. She believed in my expansion. It took three more tries, a few bruises and a lot of carpet burn but I nailed the most elusive yoga pose I had always be fearful to even try.

We are not made to live in boxes!

One day you may even realize there are no boxes!

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the truth about Needs

the truth about Needs

That soundtrack is in my head …

“I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy.”

I don’t think twice about doing for others, helping others, building up others. But somehow when I need to fill my cup up, I feel like I’m a burden … other people have their own lives, right? They don’t need to have to deal with all my mess. It’s not their job to make me feel better.

Today the love of my life moved the last of his belongings from my home because his “lifestyle” was more important than our marriage. So here I am once again sitting (COVID strangled, actually) with the utter feeling of hollowness. It would be easy to crawl back into my pjs and into my bed to numb my mind with senseless TV shows but I knew …

We hear our self talk reiterating all the woes and worries but sometimes we have to put a muzzle on that long enough to listen to our truth. I knew my bed was not going to nourish my soul. I knew what I needed! Now just to muster up the courage and strength. I put on my game face and tightened my pony tail!

Rule #6 in my book 10 Little Rules for Finding Your Truth kept speaking to me … Replenish!! 

So I grabbed my keys and my favorite bubble mate and we visited a new produce stand, my daughter and I having a sing-along in the car. I filled my kitchen with fresh fruits and veggies. Then I leisurely washed my car. Then I put my hands in the dirt. I dug up discarded plants from a neighbor (ones I couldn’t normally afford) and I reverently placed them in my bare yard, filling my life with color. Kitchen? Check! Backyard? Check!

I planted some of these flowers for my new neighbors so they can enjoy the beauty! They trade with me dinners I would never take the time to cook. I pass along more of these plants to other appreciative friends who in turn shower me with baked goodies. Belly? Check!

My life is so full even on the most heartbreaking of days because I know what I need to refill my cup and I now understand …


I give 

and fill others up 

and it is absolutely ok to allow others to replenish me. 

Somehow it’s not a burden to others. And its weird how they always do exactly when I need it most. In turn, they fill their cups by helping me, just as I do others. It’s a never-ending cycle of give and take and love and support.

Whether it is in human, plant, animal or food form. 

Find what makes your soul happy and do more of that!!

Your favorite pjs and binge watching is for PERFECT days …

NOT the stormy ones.

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the truth about Honesty

the truth about Honesty

Social media gives every single person their own little soap box. Unfortunately it seems the people who shed light and love into the world are shoved into the background by all the desperate, angry and loud people who just seem to want to attack. Their claims, always backed by what they say is “honesty,” are often distressing and confrontational.

One of my favorite quotes is “Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak.” We often think that those who have the “courage” to step up and “tell it like it is” are right, true and transparent. But these people rarely have anyone’s interests in mind but their own. People during crisis move from a place of fear, anger, guilt and regret and as they stand proudly upon their soapbox, it is often just to shield others from seeing their own truth. Insecurities are the loudest and it takes a true test of courage, confidence and silence to be calm and quiet in this type of storm.

My tenacity to remain centered is tested often because I am in the public eye. There will always be those who find fault in you, your product, your views. They will bait and antagonize. They will lure you out of your peaceful place of security in hopes of proving to others that their own views of you are correct. Sometimes people are running away from their own truths so steadfastly that the only way they can’t feel it nipping at their heels is by attacking something or someone else.

Everyone has a right to practice Rule #10 in 10 Little Rules for Finding Your Truth, “Speak Your Truth.”

Yes, everyone!

But everyone else has the right to walk away and not listen.

The first two weeks of our global COVID-19 crisis, there was so much anger and hatred being sent out into the world. Facebook posts were spewing misinformation and accusing anyone and everyone. People were making fun of others and bitterly chastising those who weren’t handling the crisis exactly how THEY thought it should be handled.

We all move through times of struggle differently. We all replenish in different ways. Take a moment and think about where you are getting your information. Who are you listening to? Does their truth align with yours or are they just speaking it so loud that you can’t hear your own truth anymore?

I am so absolutely proud of my Facebook community through this pandemic. I slowly started seeing less and less of my friends on my Facebook feed. Less posts, less anger, less attacking. People were literally unplugging. Those people on the soapboxes no longer had an audience … and guess what? They stopped … or at least, many of them have.

We started to see how this very helpful and useful tool, so useful initially for keeping us connected while in isolation, was actually damaging our peace of minds.

Everyone was speaking their own variation of their own truths.

Or so they thought!

But sadly the real work that allows us to find that inner voice had not been done. You know those people …

They were jumping on those soapboxes from a place of fear and negativity.

And MANY chose to walk away.

I respect everyone’s truth, as we all should. That doesn’t mean I have to agree with, buy into it or support it … or even listen to it.

I know I can walk away when it does not align with my path.

You can too!

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the truth about Believing

the truth about Believing

We are all skeptics … we are even cynical at times, that outwardly displays itself as sarcasm or criticism.

“Not me”, right?

Think about the last time someone gave you a compliment … what was your reaction?

We are the first to so readily offer a compliment, a hand and praise to others. We KNOW how important it is to support others. With our modern day technology, it seems everyone and their lives are sitting on the couch right beside us and we know their history … their “story”… as if it was our own.

We “bless their hearts” (at least if you are a good southern woman) and send empathetic love to them through “likes” and even reach out to let them know we care.

We are aware of how much love we SHOULD give others because their pain is much more visible to us now. We all feel freer to share … we know this is part of the healing process.

This is where we step in and help those we feel are in need, with a basket full of muffins or a plant from our garden. We are the first to sing their praises as if they have forgotten the tune, pat them on the back, pick them up and dust them off and put them upright again.


When someone, anyone, shows us that same kindness …

we scoff or laugh it off. We feel we have “wasted” their time. “Oh, you shouldn’t have bothered.”

We even volley back to them any compliments they shower us with as refutes, disagreements, or even a “yeah, but.”

Why is it so hard to believe that others see the same light in US that we see in them? Why can’t we allow others to lift us up when we are in need without feeling burdensome? Why can’t we believe that their truth is that WE are important too?

Think on that a bit….

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the truth about Chaos

the truth about Chaos

I have it ALL under control! We all say it but how many of us ever truly feel it is so? Our logical mind flips its cape and proudly puffs out its chest but the heart mind taps on our shoulder and says “hey sister…didn’t you forget about x, y AND z?”

A hurricane many years ago pelted water sideways into my eaves until the whole right side of my house looked as if it was crying. Literally the walls were streaming with water and I looked liked one of those cartoon characters running around without enough fingers to plug all the holes. Little did I know that my stellar performance in THIS emergency (which may I add I am usually on point in these situations) would look like an amateur when the real cape doning was to come….

The whole kitchen and dining room wall would need to be torn out … all the way down to the studs. The bamboo flooring and kitchen tile also had to be torn out. Did I mention I was a homeschooling mother who valued our little piece of tranquil property out in the county more than anything in the world?

…so in rushed the water mitigation team and insurance adjusters, roofers (yep we needed a whole new roof too) as well as contractors and anyone else who wanted a piece of our insurance claim money. They set up seven industrial fans to dry out the water but never sealed off the open floor planned house. My daughter and I had to scream to hear each other, never mind getting anything productive done. And this lasted for weeks. Much to my argument, dissatisfaction and utter breakdown. This is what is was … no fighting or screaming or explaining was going to end this chaos of my life any time soon.

Sometimes in the midst of the noise and fans and wind and complete disorder … we must shed our cape. There is no one to save but ourselves in that moment.
Our hearts.

Our sanity.

So we have to just sit our ass down on the torn up tile floor amidst the wind and noise and breathe.
that’s it…

no fighting or fussing or controlling these situations.
just be still…

and listen…
to our hearts. That is the one place chaos will never reside. We must learn to silence the logical mind to hear our heart mind.


is where peace resides.

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